Week 3

Everything continues to be grand, dandy, and several other antiquated synonyms for spiffy. I continue my eternal struggle to feed and clothe myself and generally be self-sufficient. This week, I continued this trend by taking part in the age-old tradition of stockpiling for winter. I went and picked berries.

And let me tell you, was it great. I haven’t picked berries in over a decade, so I was itching for the chance to pluck and pick my own body weight in the sweetest of God’s creations: the blueberry. As you may or may not know, I have an unhealthy obsession with this most fickle of fruit. I crave it with the same undying hunger a zombie has for brains, and I will accept no substitutes. Do not give me blueberry ice cream or blueberry candy. You just can’t imitate the flavor with chemical machinations. Nope, I want the fruit itself. Unfortunately, it’s usually pretty pricey, so I have to satisfy myself with half a pint a month. But no longer!

I’ve wanted to pick berries for a few weeks now, but either it’s been raining or I haven’t had the cash or I don’t think I can afford to drive anywhere or what have you. But today, I could resist no longer. I researched patches online, then hopped in my car and navigated the needlessly complicated network of interlocking, overlapping, and criss-crossing highways known as the New York road system.

Unfortunately, after driving 20 minutes, I could not actually find the berry farm. I was devastated, but not deterred. Using the power of the internet and a smartphone, I located another nearby u-pick farm. This time, I was successful. And it only took me twice as long as originally planned! I arrived at stately Hafner Farms, hop-stepping with glee. I attacked those bushes, pulling out handfuls of berries.

Only a few minutes after I arrived, it began to rain. Everyone else on the field ran like a bunch of wicked witches from the water. But me? Heck no, girlfriend. I’m from Colorado; abrupt weather patterns don’t scare me. I wrestled on unphased through the rain. I was a little worried about my phone getting soaked, but luckily it was tucked under the protective shelf of my muffin top, and thus kept relatively dry. The rain continued for about twenty minutes and then went away. I continued picking a little longer. I would have stayed indefinitely, but you had to pay in cash, and I only had like a five dollar bill and a glove compartment full of change. But that was enough to get me a bucketful of berries.

 

Sweet, sweet, Cyanococcus

This is only about a third of the actual berries I picked. The rest made it to my mouth before they made it to home. If a small child ever saw the way I funnel blueberries into my mouth, they would probably be irrevocably scarred for life. So yeah, these puppies aren’t going to last long enough to freeze. However, I plan to go picking again next week, this time with TWO buckets and a lot more cash. And then in a couple of weeks raspberry season starts. It’s gonna be sweet.