Week 6 (Week 5 wasn't that important; you won't miss it)

Life is so awesome. Yay. So much adventure.

I didn’t write last week mostly because I procrastinated, but also because there was legitimately nothing exciting going on in my life. If this trend continues, I might have to start a hobo fight club, just to spice things up.

As it is, the only things I can think of that might be of the slightest interest is my visit to the mall. Yes. Going to the mall has been the high point of my life these past two weeks. I know. I live a hollow existence.

But wait! It wasn’t just any mall. It was Destiny USA, one of the most ridiculously large malls in America. Seriously, this thing is either a monolithic tribute to capitalism or a subtle satire of consumerist culture. This mall is so big, I would not be surprised if there is a small clan of people living undiscovered in its depths. They would be mall nomads, trekking from one Auntie Anne’s to the next (there is literally more than one Auntie Anne’s in this place). Perhaps they spend their nights huddled in the indoor racetrack. Or maybe they have adapted such that they sleep suspended from the high ropes course.

Anyways, yes, this mall is big. It has more stores than you can shake a stick at, and that isn’t just a silly expression. If you took a stick to the mall, and tried to shake it at every store in the place, you would probably get severe cramps.

I didn’t really buy anything, aside from some food, on account of me hoarding my money to pay people back. However, I did enjoy my tour. Here are some pictures:

Behold the Tree of Credit and BOGO

This is a sculpture. I think it’s supposed to be a tree. Anyways, I think this piece is supposed to represent how man is trying to replace the natural things in his life with cheap, man-made substitutes. Consider the imposing, sharp outline. It is clearly supposed to mimic a tree, but it also doesn’t hide the fact that it is made of metal. It is a bastardized commercialization of a free resource, mocking man’s attempts to buy happiness when happiness does not have a price. Also the red lights are clearly an attempt to summon the dark lord Satan.

I sincerely apologize to the random person I caught in this picture. Your privacy is being violated for my vanity blog.

And then there is this place. It’s just your standard frozen yogurt place, except Japanese themed. It’s called Sweet Yummy, and I cannot accuse it of false advertising. My inner weeaboo was pleased.

Welp, I managed to drag that out for a few paragraphs. I deem this post sufficiently informative. Have a nice week, y’all!

Week 4: One month down

I picked more than ten pounds of blueberries. TEN. POUNDS. I froze about three bags full, so I will have some cerulean sweetness come winter. And in a few weeks, raspberries will be in season. I’m going to be all over those puppies like a swarm of overenthusiastic fleas.

In non berry-obsession related news, I joined a sweet D&D campaign. I am a half-orc bard, which in non-roleplaying speak means my job is to sing songs in the sweet dulcet tones of a hulking monster. It’s like fashioning shoes out of broken glass, which is exactly why I chose the class. So yeah, I’m now an official high roller (holla).

All ==> Behold the glory of my couch

Thanks to the wonderful generosity of a coworker, I now have a couch upon which to slouch. This has increased nonproductivity in my apartment by 30%. Getting it into my apartment and out of the pouring rain was negative amounts of fun, though. The doorways were about an inch too narrow to fit things through, so there was a lot of contorting and exasperation. Originally, there was going to be a couch with a pullout bed, but it did not survive the war. Sorry, Mom, you’ll be sleeping on an air mattress when you come to visit. If you ever do. If you’re not too busy staying at home doting on your only grandchild instead.

I’m really starting to miss my little puppy the Schnee. =/ There’s no one to tease in my apartment. I am steadfastly resisting the urge to get a cat, because I don’t have the money right now. In the meantime, I’ll have to make do with dumb cat videos on the internet.

Rochelle sent me this picture of him sleeping. I look at it about twice a day.

Love, hugs, and imaginary cookies from Syracuse.