Week 6 (Week 5 wasn't that important; you won't miss it)

Life is so awesome. Yay. So much adventure.

I didn’t write last week mostly because I procrastinated, but also because there was legitimately nothing exciting going on in my life. If this trend continues, I might have to start a hobo fight club, just to spice things up.

As it is, the only things I can think of that might be of the slightest interest is my visit to the mall. Yes. Going to the mall has been the high point of my life these past two weeks. I know. I live a hollow existence.

But wait! It wasn’t just any mall. It was Destiny USA, one of the most ridiculously large malls in America. Seriously, this thing is either a monolithic tribute to capitalism or a subtle satire of consumerist culture. This mall is so big, I would not be surprised if there is a small clan of people living undiscovered in its depths. They would be mall nomads, trekking from one Auntie Anne’s to the next (there is literally more than one Auntie Anne’s in this place). Perhaps they spend their nights huddled in the indoor racetrack. Or maybe they have adapted such that they sleep suspended from the high ropes course.

Anyways, yes, this mall is big. It has more stores than you can shake a stick at, and that isn’t just a silly expression. If you took a stick to the mall, and tried to shake it at every store in the place, you would probably get severe cramps.

I didn’t really buy anything, aside from some food, on account of me hoarding my money to pay people back. However, I did enjoy my tour. Here are some pictures:

Behold the Tree of Credit and BOGO

This is a sculpture. I think it’s supposed to be a tree. Anyways, I think this piece is supposed to represent how man is trying to replace the natural things in his life with cheap, man-made substitutes. Consider the imposing, sharp outline. It is clearly supposed to mimic a tree, but it also doesn’t hide the fact that it is made of metal. It is a bastardized commercialization of a free resource, mocking man’s attempts to buy happiness when happiness does not have a price. Also the red lights are clearly an attempt to summon the dark lord Satan.

I sincerely apologize to the random person I caught in this picture. Your privacy is being violated for my vanity blog.

And then there is this place. It’s just your standard frozen yogurt place, except Japanese themed. It’s called Sweet Yummy, and I cannot accuse it of false advertising. My inner weeaboo was pleased.

Welp, I managed to drag that out for a few paragraphs. I deem this post sufficiently informative. Have a nice week, y’all!